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“For me, the end goal is to be in a loving relationship with someone,” she says.For a long time I wanted to communicate with people in general in a non-chat format.It was only when I was on vacation with limited access and resorted to exchanging long emails with a friend who was similarly inclined that I realized that what I wanted was penpals.This is hands down the best pen pal site I've been to.There's something about the format that is ideal for fostering a different experience here than on other sites, whether they be dating sites or pen pal sites or whatever.“We only corresponded via phone or IM or whatever, but he really knew who I was,” she says.
“He got under my skin even though I knew something was wrong.
We’ve learned to deal with people who dematerialize after a few days or weeks of steady contact.
“It’s the online equivalent of ‘going out for cigarettes,’ ” says one seasoned single.
“I confronted him and he admitted he’d lied,” she says.
“He said he’d put his ad up on Craigslist as kind of a spoof — he wanted to see what it was about — and never thought anything would come of it.
“But for others, the end goal might be that they’re passing time, preventing boredom or just collecting men and women.” Deception — people pretending to be something they’re not (whether it’s single or a certain gender) — can be another reason relationships stay in the virtual realm, says Patricia Wallace, psychologist and senior director of information technology at Johns Hopkins University Center for Talented Youth in Maryland. “There’s the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of making a fool of yourself,” she says.